Winters used to be cold in England. We, my parents especially, spent them watching the wrestling. The wrestling they watched on their black-and-white television sets on Saturday afternoons represented a brief intrusion of life and colour in their otherwise monochrome lives. Their work overalls were faded, the sofa cover—unchanged for years—was faded, their memories of the people they had been before coming to England were fading too. My parents, their whole generation, treadmilled away the best years of their lives toiling in factories for shoddy paypackets. A life of drudgery, of deformed spines, of chronic arthritis, of severed hands. They bit their lips and put up with the pain. They had no option but to. In their minds they tried to switch off—to ignore the slights of co-workers, not to bridle against the glib cackling of foremen, and, in the case of Indian women, not to fret when they were slapped about by their husbands. Put up with the pain, they told themselves, deal with the pain—the shooting pains up the arms, the corroded hip joints, the back seizures from leaning over sewing machines for too many years, the callused knuckles from handwashing clothes, the rheumy knees from scrubbing the kitchen floor with their husbands' used underpants.
When my parents sat down to watch the wrestling on Saturday afternoons, milky cardamon tea in hand, they wanted to be entertained, they wanted a laugh. But they also wanted the good guy, just for once, to triumph over the bad guy. They wanted the swaggering, braying bully to get his come-uppance. They prayed for the nice guy, lying there on the canvas, trapped in a double-finger interlock or clutching his kidneys in agony, not to submit. If only he could hold out just a bit longer, bear the pain, last the course. If only he did these things, chances were, wrestling being what it was, that he would triumph. It was only a qualified victory, however. You'd see the winner, exhausted, barely able to wave to the crowd. The triumph was mainly one of survival. | Zime u Engleskoj su nekada bile hladne. Mi, a naročito moji roditelji, provodili smo ih gledajući rvanje. Rvanje koje su gledali subotom popodne na crno-belim TV aparatima, predstavljalo je kratak interval života i boje u njihovim, inače monohromnim životima. Radni kombinezoni koje su nosili su bili izbledeli, pokrivač na kauču - nemenjan godinama - izbledeo, njihova sećanja na ljude koji su ranije dolazili u Englesku, takođe su bledela. Moji roditelji i cela njihova generacija, protraćili su najbolje godine života naporno radeći u fabrikama za bezvredne plate. Život pun dirinčenja, iskrivljenih kičmi, hroničnih artritisa, odsečenih šaka. Grizli su se za usnu i trpeli bol. Nisu imali drugog izbora. U mislima su pokušavali da se isključe - da ignorišu omalovažavanje saradnika, da se ne obaziru na gakanje poslovođe i da se, kao jedna Indijanka, ne razbesne kada ih muževi ošamare. Istrpi bol, govorili su sebi, izdrži bol - probadajuće bolove koji se penju uz ruke, zarđale zglobove u kukovima, napade bolova u leđima od godina naginjanja nad šivaćom mašinom, kvrgave gležnjeve od ručnog pranja odeće, reumatična kolena od ribanja kuhinjskog poda starim muževljevim gaćama.
Kada su moji roditelji sedali da gledaju rvanje subotom popodne, sa čajem od kardamona s mlekom u ruci, želeli su da se zabave, da se smeju. Ali su, takođe, hteli da dobar momak, bar jednom, pobedi lošeg. Želeli su da bahati, hvalisavi siledžija dobije zasluženu kaznu. Molili su se da se dobri momak ne preda dok leži na strunjači zarobljen dvostrukom blokadom ili dok mu protivnik bolno pritska bubrege. Kad bi samo mogao da izdrži još malo, istrpi bol, istraje u borbi. Kad bi samo to postigao, postojala bi šansa u rvanju takvom kakvo je, da pobedi. Međutim, to bi se samo nazivalo pobedom. Videli biste pobednika, iscrpljenog, koji je jedva u stanju da mahne publici. Ali bi trijumf označio dalji opstanak. |