We're accustomed to glamour in London SE26: Kelly Brook and Jason Statham used to live above the dentist. But when Anouska Hempel's heels hit the cracked cement of the parking space outside my flat, it's hard not to think of those Picture Post photographs of royalty visiting bombed-out families during the second world war. Her mission in my modest tract of suburbia is, however, about more than offering sympathy. Hempel—the woman who invented the boutique hotel before it bore any such proprietary name—has come to give me information for which, judging by the spreads in interiors magazines and anxious postings on online DIY forums, half the property-owners in the Western world seem desperate: how to give an ordinary home the look and the vibe of a five-star, £750-a-night hotel suite. To Hempelise, in this case, a modest conversion flat formed from the middle slice of a three-storey Victorian semi.
"You could do it," she says, casting an eye around my kitchen. "Anyone could do it. Absolutely no reason why not. But there has to be continuity between the rooms. A single idea must be followed through." She looks out wistfully over the fire escape. "And you'd have to buy the house next door, of course." That's a joke. I think.
...
It's worth pausing, though, to consider the oddness of this impulse. The hotel room is an amnesiac space. We would be troubled if it bore any sign of a previous occupant, particularly as many of us go to hotels in order to do things we would not do at home. We expect a hotel room to be cleaned as thoroughly as if a corpse had just been hauled from the bed. (In some cases, this will actually have happened.) The domestic interior embodies the opposite idea: it is a repository of memories. The story of its inhabitants ought to be there in the photos on the mantelpiece, the pictures on the wall, the books on the shelves. If hotel rooms were people, they would be smiling lobotomy patients or plausible psychopaths. | Tuna mazoea ya mvuto hapa kwetu Lodon mtaa wa SE26: Kelly Brook pamoja na Jason Statham walikuwa wakikaa juu ya mganga wa meno. Lakini pale Anouska Hempel alipowasili mtaani na kufika mlangoni pa gorofa letu mahali pa kuegesha magari, inakuwa vigumu kutofikiri juu ya zile Picha za kwenye posta za mfalme akitembelea familia za wahanga wa makombora ya kivita ya vita kuu ya pili ya dunia. Kusudi lake kuja katika makazi yangu haya ya sehemu za pembezoni mwa mji yalikuwa, kwa jinsi iliyoje, ni zaidi ya kutaka kuniliwaza. Hempel- mwanamke mwanzilishi wa hoteli iitwayo boutique kabla haijawa na jina la umiliki wowote-amekuja kunipa taarifa ambazo kwazo, kwa kigezo cha taarifa zilizomo katika pande za ndani za magazeti na wachangiaji wenye shauku katika mtandao kwenye majukwa ya Kujifanyia Mwenyewe, nusu ya wamiliki katika dunia ya Magharibi wanaonekana kuwa na shauku; jinsi gani ya kuipa nyumba ya kawaida mwonekano na mguso wa kiwango cha hoteli ya nyota tano, takriban pauni 750 kwa usiku kwa chumba. Kwake yeye Hempelise, kwa swala hili, nyumba ya wastani ilikuwa ni ile ya tokea upande wa kati wa gorofa tatu za zama za Victoria. "Ungaliweza kufanya," anasema, akitupa jicho kulizunguka jiko langu. "Ye yote angaliweza kufanya. Hakika hakuna sababu kwanini isiwe. Lakini lazima kuwe na mwendelezo kati ya vyumba. Wazo moja lazima lifuatwe hadi mwisho." Kwa sononeko anaangalia kwenye sehemu ya mtoleo wa moshi. "Na ungetakiwa kununua na nyumba inayofuata, hapana shaka." Huo ni utani. Nadhani. ... Ni vema kutulia kidogo, hata hivyo, kufikiri ugumu ulio katika msukumo huu. Chumba hiki cha hoteli ni kama mahali pakukufanya ujisahau. Tungelisumbuka sana iwapo kingekuwa chumba hiki na ishara yo yote ile ya mkazi aliyetangulia, hasa kwa vile wengi wetu huenda kwenye hoteli kufanya mambo ambayo tusingeweza kufanya nyumbani. Tunataraji chumba cha hoteli kuwa kimesafishwa vema kana kwamba ni kama vile maiti ndio kwanza imeondolewa kitandani. (Katika nyakati zingine jambo la jinsi laweza kuwa kweli limetokea.) Mahali pa ndani pa nyumbani huwa pana haiba ya wazo la tofauti kabisa; huwa na hazina ya kumbukumbu. Hadithi ya wakaazi wake yapaswa kuwa katika picha zilizo ukutani, vitabu vilivyo katika kabatini. Kama vyumba vya hotelini vingelikuwa watu, wangelikuwa ni kama wagonjwa walifanyiwa upasuaji wa kichwa wenye kutabasamu au mwendawazimu mwenye kutoa hoja za kukubalika. |