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Off topic: 没事还是笑一笑吧 Thread poster: jyuan_us
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Jason Ma 
China
Local time: 23:04
English to Chinese
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| You probably heard this joke | Mar 4, 2010 |
Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?
Answer: Princess Diana's death.
Question: How come?
Answer: An English princess
with an Egyptian boyfriend
crashes in a French tunnel,
driving a German car
with a Dutch engine,
driven by a Belgian who was drunk
on Scottish whisky,
followed closely by Italian Paparazzi,
on Japanese motorcycles;
treated by an American doctor,
using Brazilian medicines.
... See more Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?
Answer: Princess Diana's death.
Question: How come?
Answer: An English princess
with an Egyptian boyfriend
crashes in a French tunnel,
driving a German car
with a Dutch engine,
driven by a Belgian who was drunk
on Scottish whisky,
followed closely by Italian Paparazzi,
on Japanese motorcycles;
treated by an American doctor,
using Brazilian medicines.
This is sent to you by an American,
using Bill Gates's technology,
and you're probably reading this on your computer,
that use Taiwanese chips,
and a Korean monitor,
assembled by Bangladeshi workers
in a Singapore plant,
transported by Indian lorry-drivers,
hijacked by Indonesians,
unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen,
and trucked to you by Mexican illegals.....
That, my friends, is Globalization
[Edited at 2010-03-04 10:32 GMT] ▲ Collapse
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wherestip
United States
Local time: 10:04
Chinese to English
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Zhoudan
Local time: 23:04
English to Chinese
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http://zjnews.zjol.com.cn/05zjnews/system/2010/02/04/016296371.shtml
“去年的正好，今年的有点咸，明年要记得弄淡一点。”上周，一名小偷将温州龙湾永强沙南村丁阿姨家的酱肉一盗而空，隔天还送来这份“食评”，气得丁阿姨哭笑不得。
“晒点酱肉只是为了多点节日�... See more http://zjnews.zjol.com.cn/05zjnews/system/2010/02/04/016296371.shtml
“去年的正好，今年的有点咸，明年要记得弄淡一点。”上周，一名小偷将温州龙湾永强沙南村丁阿姨家的酱肉一盗而空，隔天还送来这份“食评”，气得丁阿姨哭笑不得。
“晒点酱肉只是为了多点节日气氛，现在想想，年纪大了还是吃点新鲜的好。”昨天晚上，丁阿姨在电话中告诉记者。
丁阿姨的房子是一幢3层落地房。她说，以前日子不好过，过春节添件新衣服，杀鸡鸭就很有节日气氛了。现在日子好过了，添新衣还真不算什么，所以每逢过春节，家里就晒点酱肉等，来增加点节日气氛，当然今年也不例外。
丁阿姨回忆，1月25日，她将十多斤酱肉挂晒在2楼阳台，便和老伴出门了。到傍晚回来时，却发现酱肉全不见了踪影。
“我心里一‘咯噔’，想想就是家里遭贼了。”丁阿姨说，他们赶紧进门查看，发现家里的东西摆放如常，没少一样，门窗也没动过的痕迹。
“这贼好像只偷了肉就走了。”因此，丁女士也没把这事放心上。
不料，1月27日早上，丁阿姨出门买菜时，看见门缝里塞着一张纸条，上面写着“去年的正好，今年的有点咸，明年要记得弄淡一点。”
“纸是从笔记本上撕下来的，字迹有点潦草但字体端正，字写得也不丑，比我还好一些。”丁阿姨说，自己当时被这“评价”气坏了，哪有这么理直气壮的贼！再照此推测，自家这两年失窃的酱肉敢情都被同一个贼偷去了。
丁阿姨的邻居张先生也说，每年年底，很多村民家挂晒的酱肉经常被盗。不过，他们都没收到过这样的纸条。“可能丁家的肉做得合他口味吧。我建议丁阿姨明年多放几倍盐，咸掉他舌头，给大家解解气。”
但丁阿姨表示，明年不再晒酱肉了，“这不是赌气。家里只有我和老伴，两人也吃不了多少，不弄也罢。” ▲ Collapse
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lbone
China
Local time: 23:04
Member (2006)
English to Chinese
+ ...
客户找我报翻译+编辑+DTP的价格。
我只看见标题中有个编辑，正文中写的翻译没看见，就只报了个编辑价，只有应报价的1/3。DTP应该按一页多少元的，货币单位没想清楚按翻译报价的习惯报成分了（只有应报价的1/100）。
客户又来信要我算总价，才发现，赶紧回信说明。
估计客户正在猛骂我。
[Edited at 2010-05-06 17:01 GMT]
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pkchan
United States
Local time: 11:04
Member (2006)
English to Chinese
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| subscribed to the magazine | Jul 30, 2010 |
The Green Hat
The other day I needed to go to the emergency room. Not wanting to sit there for 4 hours, I put on my GREEN HAT that I got from Newsmax when I had subscribed to the magazine.
When I went into the E.R., I noticed that 3/4 of the people got up and left. I guess they decided that they weren't that sick after all. Cut at least 3 hours off my waiting time. Here's the hat. Try it the next time you're in need of quicker emergency service.
It also works at DMV. It saved me 5 hours.
At the Laundromat, three minutes after entering, I had my choice of any machine, most still running.
Don't try it at McDonald's though. The whole crew got up and left and l never got my order.
[修改时间: 2010-07-30 14:16 GMT] ▲ Collapse
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pkchan
United States
Local time: 11:04
Member (2006)
English to Chinese
+ ...
| A student sends an e-mail to his dad, saying: | Aug 2, 2010 |
Dear Dad:
Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari 599GTB when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.
Your son
The next day, he gets a reply to his e-mail from his dad:
My dear loving son:
Twenty million US Dollar has just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train... See more Dear Dad:
Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari 599GTB when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.
Your son
The next day, he gets a reply to his e-mail from his dad:
My dear loving son:
Twenty million US Dollar has just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too.
Love, your Dad
(轉載） ▲ Collapse
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wherestip
United States
Local time: 10:04
Chinese to English
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Zhoudan
Local time: 23:04
English to Chinese
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| one-time transaction | Oct 6, 2010 |
俺译作“一次性交易”，感觉总是有点不舒服。后勉强改做“单次交易”。
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lbone
China
Local time: 23:04
Member (2006)
English to Chinese
+ ...
以前有一次交稿，邮件重发了一遍。标题就写了一个词“Resent”。
发完后回想起来觉得不太对劲，也不舒服了好几天。
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wherestip
United States
Local time: 10:04
Chinese to English
+ ...
lbone wrote:
以前有一次交稿，邮件重发了一遍。标题就写了一个词“Resent”。
发完后回想起来觉得不太对劲，也不舒服了好几天。
那关系不大. 人家肯定不会误解你的取意. 不过用 present tense 好些.
[Edited at 2010-10-06 13:20 GMT]
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lbone
China
Local time: 23:04
Member (2006)
English to Chinese
+ ...
wherestip wrote: lbone wrote:
以前有一次交稿，邮件重发了一遍。标题就写了一个词“Resent”。
发完后回想起来觉得不太对劲，也不舒服了好几天。
那关系不大. 人家肯定理解你的取意. 不过用 present tense 好些. [Edited at 2010-10-06 13:16 GMT]
现在有些记不太清具体情况了，不过当时写resent应该是想得比较清楚的。大约是第一次发稿（第一封）对方找上来说没收到，时间又比较紧张，就匆匆重发了一遍（第二封），然后又写了一封不带附件的信（第三封）补充说明了什么情况。这个标题就是用在第三封上的。
带附件的邮件走Internet时经常走得比较慢，而且有时会被收件方的邮箱服务器过滤掉。第三封只是几句注释，所以分开发，希望对方能知道已经重发了。
**
刚查了一下，信还在（09年4月的），是一段时间后对方没有回复，于是写了第三封信去要求对方确认收到了上一封信（重发的那封）。
[Edited at 2010-10-06 13:39 GMT]
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wherestip
United States
Local time: 10:04
Chinese to English
+ ...
lbone wrote: wherestip wrote: lbone wrote:
以前有一次交稿，邮件重发了一遍。标题就写了一个词“Resent”。
发完后回想起来觉得不太对劲，也不舒服了好几天。
那关系不大. 人家肯定理解你的取意. 不过用 present tense 好些. 现在有些记不太清具体情况了，不过当时写resent应该是想得比较清楚的。大约是第一次发稿（第一封）对方找上来说没收到，时间又比较紧张，就匆匆重发了一遍（第二封），然后又写了一封不带附件的信（第三封）补充说明了什么情况。这个标题就是用在第三封上的。 带附件的邮件走Internet时经常走得比较慢，而且有时会被收件方的邮箱服务器过滤掉。第三封只是几句注释，所以分开发，希望对方能知道已经重发了。 ** 刚查了一下，信还在（09年4月的），是一段时间后对方没有回复，于是写了第三封信去要求对方确认收到了上一封信（重发的那封）。
I see. You've sent it, then resent it. The third time you were just notifying them that you've resent the document to them already.
[Edited at 2010-10-06 13:49 GMT]
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Zhoudan
Local time: 23:04
English to Chinese
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昨天老妈去一家新开的酒店预定元旦团圆餐，订餐的服务生说，元旦？元旦是几号？12月1号吗？
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pkchan
United States
Local time: 11:04
Member (2006)
English to Chinese
+ ...
| 他一定未有讀過两报一刊元旦社论 | Dec 1, 2010 |
迎接伟大的七十年代
《人民日报》、《红旗》杂志、《解放军报》
一九七○年元旦社论
二十世纪六十年代过去了。全世界无产阶级和革命人民，以豪迈的战斗步伐，跨进了伟大的七十年代。
放眼全球，展望未来，我国各族人民心潮澎湃，衷心祝愿我们的伟大领袖、无产阶级的革命导师毛主席万寿无疆！
六十年代初期，毛主席曾经高瞻远瞩地指出：“从现在起，五十年内外到一百年内外，是世界上社会制度彻底变化的伟大时代，是一个翻天覆地的时代，是过去任何一个历史时代都不能比拟的。”六十年代的历史，雄辩地证实了毛主席这一伟大的预言。
过去的十年，是敌人一天天烂下去，我们一天天好起来的十年；是马克思主义、列宁主义、毛泽东思想同现代修正主义公开论战，激烈搏斗，取得伟大胜利的十年；是全世界革命人民反对以美国为首的帝国主义、以苏修为中心的现代修正主义和各国反动派的伟大斗争蓬勃发展的十年。
没事还是笑一笑吧！
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wherestip
United States
Local time: 10:04
Chinese to English
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