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5th ProZ.com Translation Contest

Italian to English


Finalists:6

Source text:

Superati i 51 anni, il pensiero scansa la stanchezza e si rifugia nei sogni di 30 anni or sono, tornando al giorno in cui raggiunsi la maggior età. Quel giorno mi dissi che avrei viaggiato in tutti quei luoghi esotici e lontani che mi attiravano con promesse di appagamento di ogni specie.

E di viaggi ne ho fatti, ma raramente quelli che avrei sperato. Solo adesso, entrando nel secondo mezzo secolo della mia vita, accetto che va bene lo stesso non essere andata alle Maldive, non aver preso l’Orient Express, non aver soggiornato al Ritz. Forse farò ancora in tempo e forse non me n’importa neanche più tanto.

I viaggi sono stati altri, spesso faticosi, come il primo lungo cammino che mi aspettava dopo quel fatidico compleanno. Un crudo e buio viaggio verso la maturità, tenendo per mano un padre che chiudeva il suo soggiorno terreno ben troppo presto.

Così, nel mio diario di viaggio, stipo ricordi che non si catturano con la macchina fotografica … le voci dei miei avi siciliani che vibrano tra i ruderi di Selinunte … lo sguardo dei ragazzi di strada di Johannesburg, venuti da noi e restii a tornare nella loro terribile realtà … le lacrime dei veterani dello sbarco a Pachino tornati su quella stessa spiaggia a distanza di 60 anni … la neve che fiocca sul filo spinato di Auschwitz … la paura dei miei compagni di viaggio nella malattia che, avendo portato via mio padre, tornò a chiamare anche me. Ma io feci orecchie da mercante.

Angela Arnone. "Diario di viaggio".


Entry #3179 - Points: 14 - WINNER!
Russell Jones
At the age of 51, my mind shuns all sense of tiredness and seeks respite in the dreams of 30 years ago, looking back to the day I came of age.  I told myself then I would travel to all those far-away exotic places that enticed me, promising all manner of delights.

And travelled I have, though seldom where I’d hoped.  Only now, in my second half century, can I accept that actually it’s okay not to have been to the Maldives, travelled by Orient Express or stayed at the Show full text

potra
Congratulations! Beautiful version of a complex source text.
texjax DDS PhD
Russel, I absolutely love this version, toccante e raffinata quanto l'originale. I miei complimenti più sinceri a te e alla nostra Arnone, che è riuscita a stupirmi e che ringrazio per avere condiviso con noi uno scritto così personale. Cari saluti e un Felice Natale a tutti voi.
Russell Jones
Thank you Potra, Texjax and Angela for your congratulations and to all who voted for my contribution; it was a close contest and warranted more entries.
I think Angela has found her true vocation; the passage is poignant, perceptive, almost poetic and, I know, touches a chord with many of us of a certain age.
What is a little perplexing is the apparent disappearance from the site of the winner of the previous contest. I do hope there's nothing sad or sinister in this and can assure our readers that I'm planning to stick around a bit longer.
Merry Christmas to all.
Entry #2648 - Points: 13
Mario CANTINELLI
Having turned 51, my mind attempts to evade weariness and seeks refuge in dreams of 30 years gone, travelling back to the day I came of age. On that day, I told myself I would travel to all those exotic, faraway places that called to me with the promise of fulfilment of every kind.

And travel I did, though seldom of the kind I would have hoped for. Only today, as I enter the second half century of my life, do I accept that it doesn't really matter if I've never been to the Maldives, or taken Show full text

potra
Congratulations! I really liked your version of the source text.
Entry #3331 - Points: 11
Anonymous
Beyond the age of 51, thought overcomes fatigue seeking solace in the dreams of 30 years ago, returning to the day of my coming of age.  That day I told myself that I would travel to all those distant, exotic places that enticed me with all sorts of promises of fulfilment.

And travel I did, but rarely to those places that I had hoped.  Only now, entering the second half century of my life, do I accept that it’s all the same that I didn't go the Maldives, that I didn't Show full text

Entry #2803 - Points: 10
Elizabeth Hill Barsanti (X)
Diary of a journey

Now that I have I turned 51 I find my mind sidestepping fatigue and seeking refuge in dreams that go back 30 years or so. I recall the day I became an adult, on my eighteenth birthday.  I promised myself that day that I would visit all the exotic, far-away places that beckoned with promises of many sorts of weird and wonderful things.

And I must say, I have traveled, but rarely to the places I would have liked.  Only now, as I enter the second Show full text

Entry #3392 - Points: 4
Anonymous
After the age of 51, my thoughts escape impending sleep and find refuge in the dreams of 30 years ago, returning to the day when I reached adulthood. On that day I told myself that I was going to travel to all those exotic, far-off places which held such an allure for me with promises of gratification of every kind.

And journeys I made, though rarely those for which I might have hoped. Only now, as I enter the second half-century of my life, do I accept that it doesn’t matter that I have Show full text

Entry #3304 - Points: 1
Anonymous
Having reached the age of 51, my thoughts push aside my fatigue, and I take refuge in thirty-year old dreams, returning to the day that I reached the legal age. That day I told myself that I would travel to all of the exotic, far away places that fascinated me, with promises of all sorts of gratification.

And indeed, I have taken trips, but they have rarely been the ones I would have hoped for. Only now, as I enter the second half-century of my life, I accept that it is okay to not have gone Show full text

Feedback - 5th ProZ.com Translation Contest
This space is provided for feedback and suggestions about the contest in this particular language pair.
As we have already planned, this feature is now open to all members (full, community and student members).
Angela Arnone
Hi folks,
Thanks to all of you who had a go. I admit it was a bit taxing!
Everyone was very good, very imaginative and I'm delighted with the versions - congratulations to Russell.
As promised, I'm posting my own English version (which I had to provide to ProZ.com so that they could decide if it was a suitable text), because I think it might be interesting to see where I had trouble translating my own thoughts ... if you see what I mean.

"When I hit 51, my mind shrugged off its weariness and sought solace in a 30-year-old memory, of the day I came of age. That day, I swore I would travel, oh to all those faraway exotic places that beckoned me with every kind of promised joy.
Travel I have, yet rarely those journeys I had hoped to make. Only now, as I cross over into the second half-century of my life, do I acknowledge that even if I didn’t get to the Maldives, or take the Orient Express, or stay at the Ritz, that’s fine. Maybe I’ll have time to do all that, and even if I don’t, maybe I don’t really care that much.
There have been other journeys, often draining, like my first long voyage, not so long after that fateful birthday. A dark, crude journey to adulthood, hand in hand with my father, ending an earthly sojourn that was far too brief.
So my travel journal contains those memories that no camera can capture … the voices of my Sicilian forebears echoing in the ruins of Selinunte ... the eyes of the Johannesburg street children on a short stay with us who returned reluctantly to their harsh reality ... the weeping veterans of the Pachino landings back on that same beach 60 years later ... the snow falling on barbed wire at Auschwitz ... the terror of my travelling companions as we stumbled in the same sickness that took my father and now came for me. I turned deaf ears on its beckoning."

Angela
Angie Garbarino
Hi Angela, did you look at the French versions of your text?
They are really remarkable, just like the English versions, let me add that your text is very very nice and touching.
Congratulations to Russel !
Angio

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